Category Archives: Relationships

Marriage

“Never treat a stranger” (General Shira).

In order to give yourself what you want, you must know yourself. If you wish to have a partner then you must know everything possible about him or her. As far as my marriage was concerned I made 2 serious mistakes.

I needed a physically active person and selected one that was very physically active in our group of students. I only realized after marriage that she was very inactive.  She then told me that she was only active in order to be a member of the group.  The second mistake was that I am an early bird and my partner was nocturnal.

Apart from romance, marriage is a serious financial commitment. Marriage is a relationship that has a foreseeable end. It will either end through divorce or through death.  Divorce rates are as high as 50% although this figure is questioned.

“If you wish for peace, then prepare for war” (Machiavelli). If you wish for a peaceful termination of your relationship, then plan for the termination. Because no plans were made, my first marriage ended in a messy divorce lasting 3 years. Joint accounts should be avoided. Lists should be made of the worldly goods that each brought to the marriage. After a few decades these can be forgotten and proof lost.

Should you employ your partner in any capacity whatsoever, they must be paid wages and have an official contract.

In a state of bereavement after the death of your partner, under no circumstances should important decisions be made or contracts signed until 6 months have passed, as your state of mind is not normal during bereavement.

People who marry and stay married are wealthier than singles. By retirement age, married people have nearly 10 times the financial assets of singles, (Nat. Bureau of Economic Research). But people who divorce experience an average drop in wealth of 77%, (Zagorsky, Ohio State Univ.).

Those that divorce will be divorced under the laws of the first residence, which is the place of marriage. If marriage takes place on the Fiji Island then the divorce laws of Fiji will apply, unless previous provisions have been made.

The expense of raising a child is usually underestimated. According to income in the UK, the cost is £230,000  to £390,000 (Daily Telegraph) not including cost of University or staying art home as a dependent. The cost of GP training is an additional £498,489 (BMA Jan. 2012). In other words, a son or daughter as a physician costs about £900,000.

In the US, from birth to college the cost is estimated to be $1.1 Million (Time Sept.2009).

It seems that staying married is worth the trouble but our babies are worth a Million.

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